That Toph Is At It Yet Again
by Yazu Katara and Toph Attack
Summary: Uh Oh, Toph's back, and she's bigger, badder, and got lots more musical numbers for the characters of HARRY POTTER to sing! What are they to do? Eventual LunaGinny, RemusSirius and slight RonHermione, DracoHarry and SnapeJames
1. Omigod You Guys!

A/N: Because I have no life. This is in some timeless place where Harry is about… 18, give or take.

Three figures popped up on the stage in front of everyone. Gasping, they found that they were Toph, Emmett and Herbert, the three crazy people who make people sing. So that's where they were, a stage in the middle of Toph's head.

Toph cleared her throat, "Welcome… ladies and gentlemen, I am Toph Monster, and these are my cohorts Emmett Forrest and Herbert Willowood… excuse me, PRINCE Herbert Willowood. For this fanfiction, you will all be forced to sing musicals. And I really don't care if they are not with the plot of your story, because I am a Slytherin and you should submit to me."

The characters in the audience whispered quickly to each other and some even groaned.

"QUIET! Now I will take attendence, Harry Potter?"

Harry raised his hand silently.

"Ronald Weasely?"

"Uh… present."

"Hermione Granger?"

"Here, Ms. Monster."

"Ginny Weasely?"

"Here."

"Draco Malfoy?"

"Here."

"Remus Lupin, young?"

The eighteen-year-old were-wolf raised his hand.

"James Potter, young?"

"Here."

"Lily Evans, young?"

Lily raised her hand.

"Severus Snape, young?"

"Here."

"Sirius Black, young?"

"Here."

"Luna Lovegood?"

"Here, Ms. Monster."

"And Tom Riddle/Voldemort, safely contained in a magic-proof cage?"

"I'm back here, you fool!"

"Okay… our first song is for Luna, Ginny, Hermione, Sirius and Lily. It's an opening song called "Omigod You Guys from Legally Blonde: The Musical. Luna, you are Elle Woods, Serius, you're the dog, Bruiser, and the manager of the store and Ginny, Hermione and Lily are the girls of Delta Nu, Lily, you are also the Lying Saleslady. GO!!"

The three sat down in the box seats in the theatre, Toph equipped with a bull horn, a laptop and a taser. Herbert was content with a big lollipop, and Emmett… Emmett had the List of names and musical numbers they were in.

Lily, Ginny, Hermione, Sirius and Luna grumbled and walked up to the stage as the music started and Toph logged on to her server and fished out the lyrics for the song.

LILY:

Dear Elle, He's a lucky guy.

I'm like gonna cry, I got tears comin out of my nose!

MAD PROPS! He's the campus catch,

You're a perfect match,

Cause you both got such great taste in clothes,

Of course he will propose!

HERMIONE:

Dear Elle, honey mozel-tof,

Future's taking off bring that ring back and show it to me!

GINNY:

Four carets, a princess cut,

Are you phsyced or what?

I just wish I could be there to see…

LILY, HERMIONE, & GINNY:

When he gets down on one knee!

ALL:

Omigod!Omigod you guys,

Looks like Elle's gonna win the prize.

If there ever was a perfect couple this one qualifies.

Omigod you guys!

Omigod this is happening, our own homecoming Queen and King.

Finally she'll be trying on a huge engagement ring for size,

Omigod you guys!

Omigod!

GINNY:

Okay, everbody signed.

Good now fall in line and we'll start the engagment parade.

HERMIONE:

Like candles in single file,

Don't forget to smile.

Lose the gum kate you look like the maid,

GINNY: Sorry!

HERMIONE:

Now prepare to serenade!

Shhh!

ALL:

(whisper and slowly get lowder)

Omigod!Omigod you guys,

Looks like Elle's gonna win the prize.

HERMIONE:

Shh!

ALL:

If there ever was a perfect couple this one quali—

HERMIONE:

Shh!

ALL:

Omigod!

HERMIONE:

Guys I'm Serious!

GINNY:

Elle and Warner were meant to be!

HERMIONE:

Not once ever has he hit on me!

LILY:

SHUT UP!

They're just like that couple from titanic,

Only no one dies.

ALL:

Omigod!

SIRIUS:

2, 3, 4—

ALL:

Daughter of Delta Nu,

Soon to be fiance',

Now that a man chose you,

Your life begins today.

Make him a happy home,

Waste not his hard-earned wage,

And so he does not roam,

Strive not to look your age.

Still in your hour of need,

Let it be understood no man can supersead,

Our sacred bond of sisterhood.

Omigod!Omigod you guy—

HERMIONE:

(spoken) Guys, she's not here.

ALL:

What?

Where is she?

Where could she be?!

OMIGOD!

LILY:

Bruiser, where is elle?

Sirius proceeds to morph into his dog form.

SIRIUS:

(Barks)

LILY:

She doesn't have an engagement outfit.

SIRIUS:

(Barks)

LILY:

She's totally freaking out.

SIRIUS:

(Barks)

LILY:

She's trapped in the old valley mill??!?!

SIRIUS:

(Barks twice)

LILY:

O, woops, sorry.

The Old Valley Mall!

ALL:

OMIGOD! Mass Emergency!

LILY:

Don't take the freeway!

GINNY:

Hey, wait for me!

ALL

No one should be left alone to dress

And to acessorize. Omigod! You guys!

OMIGOD!OMIGOD!OMIGOD!OMIGOD!OMIGOD!

LUNA:

(spoken) It's almost there but—

(sung) This dress needs to seal the deal,

make a grown man kneel,

but it can't come right out and say bride.

Can't look like I'm desperate,

Or like I'm waiting for it,

I gotta leave Warner his pride,

So bride is more implied.

HERMIONE:

(spoken) There she is!

LUNA:

Omigod!Omigod you guys!

All this week I've had butterflies,

Everytime he looks at me it's totally 'Proposal Eyes',

Omigod you guys!

So help me dress for my fairy tale,

Can't wear something I bought on sale.

HERMIONE:

Love is like forever,

This is no time to economize.

ALL:

Omigod you guys!

LILY:

(spoken) Blondes make commission SO easy.

Excuse me, have you seen this?

It just came in.

It's perfect for a blonde.

LUNA:

(spoken) Right, with a half looped-

stitch on china silk?

LILY:

(spoken hesistantly) Uhuh.

LUNA:

But the thing is, you cant use a

half looped stitch on china silk it'll pucker.

And you didn't just get this in cause I saw it in last May's VOGUE.

ALL:

Omigod! Omigod you guys!

LUNA:

I'm not about to buy last year's dress at this year's price.

ALL:

Elle saw right through that sales girl's lies.

LUNA:

(spoken)It may be perfect for a

blonde, but I'm not that blonde.

(sung) I may be in love,

but I'm not stupid, lady I've got eyes.

SIRIUS:

Omigod! Elle Woods, sorry our mistake.

Courtney take your break.

Just ignore her she hasn't been well.

Try this latest from Milan go on try it on.

I take care of my best clientele.

It's a gift from me to Elle!

LUNA:

Omigod! Omigod you guys!

This one's perfect, and it's just my size!

See dreams really do come true you never have to comprimise.

Omigod!

ALL:

Omigod! Omigod you guys!

Let's go home before some one cries.

If there ever was a perfect couple this one qualifies.

Cause we love you guys.

LUNA:

No, I love you guys!

ALL:

Omigod!

LUNA:

Omigod!

ALL:

Omigod! you guys!

(spoken)OMIGOD!


	2. Therapy

The girls and Sirius sat back down and Toph raised her bull horn. "Okay, now it's time for shipping. It's Sevvy and James for Therapy, from Tick, Tick…BOOM!"

"DON'T CALL ME SEVVY!" Young Snape yelled. James was blushing slightly behind him with Sirius and Remus on both sides of him. James started to hold his nose as if he couldn't breathe (but he could).

"Okay…" Toph continued, ignoring Snape's outburst, "Sevvy is Susan, and James is Jonathan… wow… that's weird," Toph said, looking at the list Emmett had handed her.

"Sevvy… Susan, James… Jonathan! That's so cool!" Herbert yelled, still licking the lollipop.

"And… GO!!" Toph yelled, ignoring her friend.

SEVERUS:

Are you saying we can't talk?

JAMES:

Are you saying we are not talking?

SEVERUS:

What are you saying?

JAMES:

What are you saying?

I'm saying I feel bad, that you feel bad

About me feeling bad, about you feeling bad

About what I said, about what you said

About me not being able to share a feeling

SEVERUS:

If I thought that what you thought

Was that I hadn't thought about sharing my thoughts

Then my reaction to your reaction

To my reaction

Would have been more revealing

JAMES:

I was afraid that you'd be afraid

If I told you that I was afraid of intimacy

If you don't have a problem with my problem

Maybe the problem is simply co-dependency

SEVERUS:

Yes I know that now you know

That I didn't know that you didn't know

That when I said "No"

I meant "Yes, I know"

And that now I know that you knew

That you knew you adored me

JAMES:

I was wrong to

SEVERUS:

Say you were wrong to

JAMES:

Say I was wrong about

SEVERUS:

You being wrong

JAMES:

When you meant to say that

SEVERUS:

The ring was the wrong thing to bring

JAMES:

If I meant what I said

When I said rings bore me

JAMES AND SEVERUS:

I'm not mad that you got mad that I got mad

When you said I should go drop dead

JAMES:

If I were you when I'd done what I'd done

And I'd do what you did when I gave you the ring

Having said what I said

--- VOICE OVER VOICE ---

JAMES:

I feel bad, that you feel bad

About me feeling bad, about you feeling bad

About what I said, about what you said

About me not being able to share a feeling

I thought you're gonna reacted shallowly

When I reacted to you

I'm not mad

You got mad

Go drop dead

If I were you when I'd done what I'd done

And I'd do what you did when I gave you the ring

Having said what I said

SEVERUS:

I feel badly about you

Feeling badly about me

Feel badly about you

If I thought that what you thought

Was that I hadn't thought about sharing my thoughts

Then my reaction to your reaction

To my reaction

Would have been more revealing

I'm not mad that you got mad that I got mad

When you said I should go drop dead

If I were you

But I'm not you

Said what I said

--- END OF VOICE OVER VOICE ---

JAMES:

BUt now it's out in the open

SEVERUS:

Now it's off our chest

JAMES AND SEVERUS:

Now it's four am

And we have therapy tomorrow

It's too late to screw

So lets just get some rest

"Screw…?" James asked, staring at the teleprompter.

"To have sex with," Lupin shouted. He blushed when he realized that EVERYONE had heard.

"Oh… OH…" James said, inching slowly away from Snape until he almost fell off the stage, he then proceeded to dash to his sanctuary between Sirius and Remus.

"Right…" Snape said, finally over his shock of having to say 'screw' in front of James. He ran to his spot off to the side and away from everybody else.

"And that is why it is a shipping song, peoples!" Toph shouted through the horn.


	3. El Tango De Roxanne

"THREESOME TIME!!!" Toph shouted through the top of her lungs through the bull horn. Much loud feedback and people plugging their ears. "Sorry."

"This next song is El Tango De Roxanne, for Remus, Sirius and James. James is the tango dancer, Remus is Christian –" Emmett was cut off.

"I LOVE THAT NAME!!" Toph shouted through the bull horn. Much loud feedback and people plugging their ears… again. "Sorry."

"Anyway, Sirius… you're Roxanne, pretty much… you can sing the Spanish part, if you must."

"GO!!" Herbert yelled, finishing his lollipop.

[James, Sirius and Remus

Will drive you!

Will drive you!

Will drive you!

MAD!

James:

ROXANNE

You don't have to put on that red light

Walk the streets for money

You don't care if it's wrong or if it is right

ROXANNE

You don't have to wear that dress tonight

ROXANNE

You don't have to sell your body to the night

[Remus

His eyes upon your face

His hand upon your hand

His lips caress your skin

IT'S MORE THAN I CAN STAND!

Remus:

Why does my heart cry?

Sirius and James:

ROXANNE! (ect.)

Remus:

Feelings I can't fight!

You're free to leave me but

Just don't deceive me!

...And please believe me when I say

I LOVE YOU!

Remus

Yo que te quiero tanto, que voy a hacer? Me dejastes, me dejastes en un . El alma se me fue. Se me fue hasta la sombra.

Ya no tengo ganas de vivir porque no te puedo convencer que no te vendas Rozanne.

Traduction: I who loves you so much, what am I going to do? You left me, you left me in a . My soul left me. Even my

shadow left me. I don't have a will to live because I can't convince you to not sell yourself, Roxanne.

[James (while Remus sings):

ROXANNE!

You don't have to put on that red light!

You don't have to wear that dress tonight

ROXANNE!

You don't have to put on that red light

ROXANNE!

You don't have to wear that dress tonight!

ROXANNE!

ROXANNE!

ROXANNE!

ROXANNE!

[Remus:

Why does my heart cry?

Feelings I can't fight!

ROXANNE!

ROXANNE!

I love you!

I love you!

I love you!

I love you!

"Would you quit shipping?" James yelled as the three returned to their seats.

The three in the box seats gasped, "That's like telling a bird not to fly south for the winter!" Herbert cried.

"No one tells Toph to… not ship!" Emmett almost sobbed.

James stared back at them for a few seconds, then grumbled and looked forward again, completely oblivious to the fact that Remus and Sirius were now holding their noses and blushing, looking away from each other on either side of him.


	4. Chip On My Shoulder

"And, now, Draco, Harry and Ron, for another awesome threesome… besides us, of course," Toph said not yelling her captives' ears off again, "This is Chip On My Shoulder, from Legally Blonde: The Musical."

"Harry is Emmett, Ron is Warner, and if Snape could be Callahan, that would be swell… oh, and Draco is Elle. Have fun," Emmett said, glowering at his name.

"GO!!!"

Harry: (Spoken)

Woah, Elle, What's up... Doc?

Draco: (Sung)

Love

Harry: (Spoken)

Excuse me?

Draco: (Sung)

I put my faith in love,

I followed where it led.

Harry: (Spoken)

Love led you here?

Draco: (Sung)

To my personal circle of HELL!

It has not worked out well,

I wish that I were dead,

Cuz instead of a wedding and love

I'm flunking out of school,

A total laughing stock!

Someone he and his friends can just mock.

So, go on, here's my head. Just hit it with a rock.

Harry: (Spoken)

Wait.

Go back.

(Sung)

You came out here, to follow a man.

Harvard Law was just part of that plan.

Man, what rich, romantic planet are you from?

Draco: (Spoken)

Malibu?

Harry: (Sung)

Instead of lying outside by the pool,

You stalk some guy to and Ivy-League school?

That's the weirdest reason I have...

Draco: (Spoken)

Oh, why'd you come?

Harry: (Sung)

Okay.

I grew up in the Rocksberry slums,

With my mom, and a series of bums

Guys who showed me all the ways a man can fail.

I got through law school by busting my ass.

Worked two jobs in addition to class,

So forgive me for not weeping at your tale.

Draco: (Spoken)

Well excuse me, just because you've got some kind of chip on your shoulder.

Harry: (Spoken)

You know what?

You're right.

(Sung)

There's a chip on my shoulder,

And it's big as a boulder.

With the chance I've been given,

I'm gonna be driven as hell.

I'm so close I can taste it,

So I'm not gonna waste it!

Yeah, there's a chip on my shoulder,

You might wanna get one as well.

Draco: (Spoken)

I'm sorry, but that sounds highly negative.

Wait!

Two jobs, plus law school?

Harry: (Spoken)

I haven't slept since 1992.

Draco: (Spoken)

Seriously,

How do you do it?

Harry: (Sung)

Well, I don't go to parties alot,

Not good use of the time that I've got.

Can't spend hours doing my hair, and staying in shape.

Draco: (Spoken)

I don't spend hours!

Harry: (Sung)

But, I know that it'll all be worthwhile,

When I win my first lucrative trial,

And buy my mom that great big house out on the cape.

Draco: (Spoken)

Oh, that's so sweet!

Harry: (Sung)

No, that's the chip on my shoulder,

I hugged my mom and told her,

With the chance I've been given,

I'm gonna be driven as hell.

Though, I can't take the day off,

I just think of the pay off.

You need a chip on your shoulder,

Little Miss Woods comma Elle!

Draco: (Spoken)

I just need to prove to everyone that I'm serious!

Harry: (Spoken)

What you need is to get to work!

Where are your law books?

Draco: (Spoken)

Umm...

Well, I know they're here somewhere.

Harry: (Sung)

You know, this vanity's real picturesque,

But it started it's life as a desk.

Clear it off and find some room for books instead.

Draco: (Spoken)

What are you doing?

Harry: (Sung)

Can you live without this?

Can you live without that?

I don't know what this is...

Draco: (Spoken)

It's for hair!

Harry: (Spoken)

Wear a hat!

(Sung)

Spend some time improving what's inside your head!

Out, Out!

Put it in storage,

Sell it on ebay,

Leave it behind!

Out, out!

(Spoken)

What?

Are you angry?

Good, so get angry!

(Sung)

You may find the chip on your shoulder.

Draco:

UGH!!

Harry: (Sung)

The room just got colder.

Draco:(Spoken)

HEY!

Harry:(Sung)

But with the chance you've been given,

Why are you not driven as hell?

There's just no way around it,

You gotta plow through till you've...

Draco:(Spoken)

Found it!!

Harry:(Sung)

Been reading it hard, I can tell.

Chorus: (Sung)

'Tis a gift to be simple,

'Tis a gift to be free.

Draco:(Spoken)

Bye Warner!

Have a great Thanksgiving!

Say hi to your mom and dad for me!

And grandma bootsie.

Harry:(Spoken)

Define malum prohibitum.

Draco:(Spoken)

Malum prohibitum is... um...

Harry:(Spoken)

An act prohibited...

Draco:(Spoken)

An act prohibited like jaywalking or chewing gum in Singapore.

Harry:(Spoken)

Therefore maluminsay...?

Draco:(Spoken)

Is an action, that's evil in itself.

Assault, murder, white shoes after labor day.

Harry:(Spoken)

Good.

Where are you going?

Draco: (Spoken)

Home, of course. It's Thanksgiving break, remeber?

Harry: (Spoken)

Interesting...

Draco:(Spoken)

What?

Harry: (Sung)

Well, I predict you will probably pass..

Draco: (Spoken)

Yes!

Harry:(Sung)

In the bottom percent of your class...

Draco:(Spoken)

What?

Harry: (Sung)

If you're going for mediocre, you've done great!

Draco: (Spoken)

That's not fair!

Harry: (Sung)

Look, they laughed at me like they're laughing at you.

We can't win if we don't follow through!

Might I venture, your vacation plans can wait?

Draco: (Spoken)

Why do you always have to be right?

Chorus: (Sung)

Gloria! In exelcis deo.

Draco: (Spoken)

Bye Warner!

Merry Christmas!

Enjoy Veo.

Harry: (Spoken)

Ho Ho Ho!

Draco: (Spoken)

Emmet!

Harry: (Spoken)

For you.

Not as good as going home for Christmas, but...

Draco: (Spoken)

You are too sweet.

Harry: (Spoken)

It's a real time-saver.

Shampoo and Conditioner, in one.

Draco: (Spoken)

Thank you.

You are so adorable to think of me.

Ron: (Spoken)

Elle, hey.

Draco: (Spoken)

Warner!

Ron:(Spoken)

Have you seen Vivian? I've been looking for her everywhere.

Draco:(Spoken)

Yeah. I mean, no.

Ron:(Spoken)

Great.

We're gonna miss our flight.

Harry:(Sung)

Um... Elle?

I don't know if you've noticed before,

But each time Warner walks through the door

Your IQ goes down to fourty... maybe less.

Draco:(Spoken)

Huh?

Harry:(Sung)

Though it's hardly my business to say,

Could it be the real thing in your way

Is the very guy you're trying to impress?

Draco:(Sung)

Yes.

I've been smiling and sweet and thoroughly beaten,

Blowing my chance.

Let's not chase him away,

Let's face him and say,

Hey punk, let's dance!

This chip on my shoulder,

Makes me smarter and bolder.

No more whining or blaming,

I am reclaiming my pride.

Grab that book and let's do this,

Instead of doodling hearts all through this.

Now, there's a chip on my shoulder!

Let's see him knock it aside.

Ron:(Spoken)

Mr. Lattimer was clearly within his rights to ask for visitation. Without his sperm, the

child in question wouldn't exist!

Snape: (Spoken)

Now you're thinking like a lawyer. Yes, Miss Woods.

Draco:(Spoken)

Mr. Hunnington makes an excellent point, but did the defendant keep a log of every sperm

emission made throughout his life?

Snape: (Spoken)

Interesting... why do you ask?

Draco:(Spoken)

Well, unless the defendant attempted to contact every sexual encounter to find out if a

child resulted from those, he has no parental claim over this child whatsoever.

Why now?

Why this sperm?

Snape: (Spoken)

I see your point.

Draco:(Spoken)

And, by Mr. Hunnington's standard, all masterbatory emissions, where the sperm was clearly

not seeking an egg, could be called 'recless abandonment'.

Snape: (Spoken)

Miss Woods, you just won your case!

Draco: (Sung)

Omigod! Omigod! Omigod!

Snape

Miss Woods, excellent work today.

I assume you're applying for my internship.

Do you have a resume'?

Draco: (Spoken)

I'm one step ahead of you.

Here you go!

And thanks in advance for your consideration.

Snape:

Dear God, it is scented.

Three months ago I would have recycled this, make sure to put it on file.

Harry: (Sung)

Guess you got a chip on your shoulder,

Maybe some wise man told her

With the chance we've been given

We've gotta be driven as hell!

She was something to see there,

I'm just happy I could be there.

First big test, and she aced it!

She's so close that she can taste it.

She got a chip on her shoulder!

Guess you never can tell

With little Miss Woods comma Elle!

No, you never can tell!

With little Miss Woods comma Elle.

Harry and Draco stared at the teleprompter, while Ron just went and sat down. Snape shrugged and returned to his seat as well. Finally, Harry and Draco inched away from each other and down to their own seats.

"I don't get it," Lilly piped up.

"Oh, Elle and Emmett eventually get together… I just like this song," Toph said.

Emmett growled again, and Toph had to rub his back, "Sorry… bad memories, I know."


	5. One Day More

There was a sudden crash and Dumbledore, Fred, George, Peter Pettigrew, and Neville Longbottom literally crashed in.

"I'll fix that!" Dumbledore shouted. He said some silly thing in Latin and the door was automatically fixed.

Toph sighed, "Well… I'm at a loss, so everyone get up for One Day More, from Les Miserables."

"Dumbledore as Valjean, Sirius, you are Enjolras, Tom Riddle is Javert, Lily is Marius, and James is Cosette (it works, just believe me), Snape is Eponine, Remus and Peter are both of the Thenardiers, and the kids, Ginny, Fred, George, Neville, Luna, Hermione, Draco, Ron and Harry are the chorus," Emmett read off.

"And this has Deathly Hallows spoilers because of the one-sided Snape/Lily pairing, right?" Herbert asked.

Toph just nodded and looked at the stage as she whipped up the lyrics and fed them to the teleprompter.

DUMBLEDORE

One day more!

Another day, another destiny.

This never-ending road to Calvary;

These men who seem to know my crime

Will surely come a second time.

One day more!

LILY

I did not live until today.

How can I live when we are parted?

DUMBLEDORE

One day more.

LILY & JAMES

Tomorrow you'll be worlds away

And yet with you, my world has started!

SEVERUS

One more day all on my own.

LILY & JAMES

Will we ever meet again?

SEVERUS

One more day with him not caring.

LILY & JAMES

I was born to be with you.

SEVERUS

What a life I might have known.

LILY & JAMES

And I swear I will be true!

SEVERUS

But he never saw me there!

SIRIUS

One more day before the storm!

LILY

Do I follow where she goes?

SIRIUS

At the barricades of freedom.

LILY

Shall I join my brothers there?

SIRIUS

When our ranks begin to form

LILY

Do I stay; and do I dare?

SIRIUS

Will you take your place with me?

ALL

The time is now, the day is here

DUMBLEDORE

One day more!

TOM RIDDLE

One more day to revolution,

We will nip it in the bud!

I will join these little schoolboys,

They will wet themselves with blood!

DUMBLEDORE

One day more!

REMUS AND PETER

Watch 'em run amuck,

Catch 'em as they fall,

Never know your luck

When there's a free for all,

Here a little dip'

There a little touch'

Most of them are goners

So they won't miss much!

Students (2 Groups)

1: One day to a new beginning

2: Raise the flag of freedom high!

1: Every man will be a king

2: Every man will be a king

1: There's a new world for the winning

2: There's a new world to be won

ALL

Do you hear the people sing?

JAMES

My place is here, I fight with you!

DUMBLEDORE

One day more!

LILY & JAMES

I did not live until today.

SEVERUS

One more day all on my own!

LILY & JAMES

How can I live when we are parted?

TOM RIDDLE(overlapping)

I will join these people's heros

I will follow where they go

I will learn their little Secrets,

I will know the things they know.

DUMBLEDORE

One day more!

LILY & JAMES

Tomorrow you'll be worlds away

SEVERUS

What a life I might have known!

LILY & JAMES

And yet with you my world has started

TOM RIDDLE(overlapping)

One more day to revolution

We will nip it in the bud

We'll be ready for these

Schoolboys

REMUS AND PETER(overlapping)

Watch 'em run amok

Catch 'em as they fall

Never know your luck

When there's a free-for-all!

DUMBLEDORE

Tomorrow we'll be far away,

Tomorrow is the judgement day

ALL

Tomorrow we'll discover

What our God in Heaven has in store!

One more dawn

One more day

One day more!

They all returned, albeit a little breathless, to their seats. Severus was blushing, not sure if it was because he was jealous of James or Lily, while the kids were intrigued it had not happened the other way, with the kids in the spots of the grown-ups (if the grown-ups were their ages), but no one dares question Toph Monster or her cohorts.


	6. Legally Blonde

Toph sighed dreamily, "And now, for a little bit of a sad song…"

Emmett sniffed, "Even when I'm not singing it, it makes me cry. It's Legally Blonde, from Legally Blonde: The Musical, and Luna is Elle and Harry is me… Emmett."

"I swear we'll do something that's not from Legally Blonde: The Musical… but this needed to be done… Toph-sama has a strange obsession with HarryxLuna and she needed to get it out," Herbert told everyone as Luna and Harry took the stage.

Luna:

Take back the books and pack up the clothes

Clear out the room and drop off the key

Leave with what's left of my dignity

Get in the car, and just go.

Chalk it all up to experience,

They said i failed but i disagree

Who could say then where my path would lead?

Well now i know

Back to the sun, back to the shore

Back to what i was before

Back where i'm known

Back in my own very small pond

Laugh with my friends when i arrive

We'll drop the top and just drive.

That's fine with me, just let me be

Legally blonde.

Luna: (sung)

Thanks for your help and for all you've done,

Thank you for treating me decently.

Harry: (spoken)

what's wrong?

Luna: (sung)

Maybe someday you can visit me

Give me a call, say hello

Harry: (sung)

Wait, where are you going?

Luna:

I'm sorry i'm letting down everyone.

Harry:

What brought on this?

Luna:

You did your best with a hopeless case.

Harry:

That's ludicrous

Both:

You are the best thing about this place.

Harry:

Now you should know -

Luna: (interuppting, spoken)

-Callahan hit on me

Harry: (spoken)

What?

Luna:

He kissed me, he fired me, there's no reason for me to stay

Harry: (sung)

What about love?

I never mentioned love

The timings bad I know

But perhaps if I made it more clear

That you belong right here

You wouldn't have to go

Cause you know that I'm so much in love.

Please don't go.

We both know we're meant so much more.

Luna: (sung at same time as last 3 lines)

Back to the sun, back to the shore.

Back to who i was before.

Lay on the beach, dream within reach

don't stray beyond

some girls fight hard, some face the trial, some girls were just meant to smile

Harry:

If you can hear can I just say, how much I want you to stay?

Luna:

It's not up to me

Just let me be

Legally blonde.

Harry:

I need you to stay.

Luna:

It's not up to me

Just let me be

Legally blonde…

The girls in the audience were sobbing… and the boys were… well… boyish about the whole thing. As Harry and Luna came down, no one said a word.


	7. The Song That Goes Like This

"Okay… now for a silly song… or at least one featuring the couples I have mentioned… so now it's The Song That Goes Like This, from Spamalot," Toph yelled.

"We're doing it a bit differently… we want Ginny, James, Sirius and Draco as Dennis, and Luna, Severus, Remus and Harry as the Lady of the Lake," Emmett yelled.

Toph jumped down from her box and onto the nearest broomstick. She kicked off and landed on the stage with her actors.

"Okay… Harry and Draco, you're on stage left, then it's Luna and Ginny, and then Sirius and Remus… and then James and Severus. You'll each have your own little bits… just watch the teleprompter," Toph explained as she moved people around. She flew up to her box and back into her box to look for the lyrics.

Draco and James:

Once in every show

There comes a song like this

It starts off soft and low

And ends up with a kiss

Oh where is the song

That goes like this?

Where is it? Where? Where?

Harry and Severus:

A sentimental song

That casts a magic spell

They all will hum along

We'll overact like hell

For this is the song that goes like this

Ginny: Yes it is!

Luna: Yes it is!

Sirius:

Now we can go straight

Right down the middle eight

A bridge that is too far for me

Remus:

I'll sing it in your face

While we both embrace (they embrace… awkwardly)

And then

We change

The key

Draco:

Now we're into E!

hem That's awfully high for me

Harry:

But as everyone can see

We should have stayed in D

All:

For this is our song that goes like this!

James:

I'm feeling very proud

Severus:

You're singing far too loud

Draco:

That's the way that this song goes

Harry:

You're standing on my toes

Draco notices that he got a little closer to Harry than he needed to be and gets off his toes.

All: Singing our song that goes like this!

Luna:

I can't believe there's more

Ginny:

It's far too long, I'm sure

Luna:

That's the trouble with this song

It goes on and on and on

Both:

For this is our song that is too long!

Luna, Harry, Severus, and Remus:

We'll be singing this til dawn

Ginny, Draco, James and Sirius:

You'll wish that you weren't born

Luna, Harry, Severus and Remus:

Let's stop this damn refrain

All:

Before we go insane

Luna and Ginny:

For this is our song that ends like this!

Lily turned to Toph and her cohorts and stared, "You have odd obsessions…"

Toph just smiled and watched her actors sit down with blushing faces. "Yeah?"

Lily thought for a moment, "And when am I gonna sing again?"

Herbert and Emmett sniggered in the back, then returned to work.

Toph kept smiling as Lily turned her head forward to sulk.


	8. Dangerous Game

Toph looked at Luna and Ginny and grinned, "Now, for a little duet for the two girls, Ginny and Luna…"

"This is Dangerous Game, from Jekyll and Hyde," Emmett called, slapping his forehead.

"Ginny is Hyde, and poor Luna is Lucy," Herbert called.

"GO!"

LUNA:

I feel your fingers -

Cold on my shoulder -

Your chilling touch,

As it runs down my spine -

Watching your eyes

As they invade my soul -

Forbidden pleasures

I'm afraid to make mine.

At the touch of your hand -

At the sound of your voice -

At the moment your eyes meet mine -

I am out of my mind -

I am out of control -

Full of feelings I can't define!

GINNY:

It's a sin with a name -

LUNA:

Like a hand in a flame -

GINNY:

And our senses proclaim

GINNY/LUNA:

It's a dangerous game!

GINNY:

A darker dream -

That has no ending -

That's so unreal

You believe that it's true!

A dance of death -

Out of a mystery tale -

The frightened princess

Doesn't know what to do!

Will the ghosts go away? -

LUNA:

No -

GINNY:

Will she will them to stay? -

LUNA:

No -

GINNY:

Either way, there's no way to win!

LUNA:

All I know is' I'm lost -

And I'm counting the cost -

My emotions are in a spin!

I don't know who to blame...

GINNY:

It's a crime and a shame!

LUNA:

but it's true all the same

GINNY/LUNA:

It's a dangerous game!

No one speaks -

Not one word -

But what words are in our eyes

(ALTERNATING)

Silence speaks -

Loud and clear -

All the words we (don't) want to hear!

At the touch of your hand -

At the sound of your voice -

At the moment your eyes meet mine -

I am losing my mind -

I am losing control -

Fighting feelings I can't define!

LUNA:

It's a sin with a name -

GINNY:

No remorse and no shame -

Fire, fury and flame -

LUNA:

Cos the devil's to blame

GINNY/LUNA:

And the angels proclaim

It's a dangerous game!

Toph's eyes widened, "Gotta go write a fanfic about this… or worse, draw and color it on the computer!" she ran out to do exactly that.

Emmett and Herbert shrugged and called an impromptu intermission.


End file.
